I suppose opinions of what makes the perfect husband would be as diverse as the number of wives asked, but I am sure none would think this man fitted the bill.

ERNEST was a tyrant and he was very demanding of his wife. He required her to rise early to prepare all he needed for the day and of course have a cooked breakfast on the table at the exact time he was ready.

He supplied her with  lists of duties which must be undertaken each day and he checked them mercilessly on his return.  Everything had to be exactly perfect. She had to account for every penny spent with meticulous records.

Ernest died and years later, the lady married JAMES, a loving, considerate man.  A few years after their marriage, she found some of the lists of duties prepared for her by her late husband.  Her instinct was to tear them to pieces as she remembered the heartache and drudgery of those years, but she was drawn to reading them.

To her amazement, she realised she was now doing ALL those things on the lists; things which she had hated doing, but she was now doing them willingly and with joy because she loved her present husband and was loved and appreciated by him.
In Christian service, we willingly and joyfully perform tasks we might otherwise consider a nuisance or a burden, and we do so simply because we love our Lord and we are loved by Him.  We do not see the tasks as burdens but as a privilege.

To some people, Bible passages such as
Romans 12:1
Present your bodies a living sacrifice 
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
You are not your own, for you have been bought with a price 
Romans 6:13
Yield yourselves unto God  
would be too negative, restrictive and unthinkable.

I have to agree that, to a non-believer, these Scriptures sound negative and restrictive, and would be aligned with the marriage to the first husband, Ernest, and his dominance of his wife.  It is a position which would not be tolerated by most women. 

However, to the believer, these Scriptures are positive and bring great JOY.

We count it a great privilege and an enormous joy to know that we no longer serve self but submit to the LORDSHIP of Christ.

We willingly and joyfully allow Christ to have pre-eminence (Colossians 1:18) and count it a blessing to be a co-worker together with God (2 Corinthians 6:1)
The Christian life is a joyful adventure as we experience the REALITY of Christ in us.

My gracious Lord, I own Thy right
To every service I can pay
And call it my SUPREME DELIGHT
To hear Thy dictates and OBEY.
Philip Dodderidge

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Thou art the Potter; I am the clay.
Mould me and make me, after Thy will,
While I am waiting, YIELDED and still.

Have Thine own way, Lord!  Have Thine own way!
Hold o’er my being ABSOLUTE SWAY!
Fill with Thy Spirit till all shall see
Christ ONLY, always, living in me.
A A Pollard

About meetingintheclouds

I am Cloudwatcher, a 76 year old Christian lady, happily married to a wonderful man for over 50 years. We have five wonderful sons, all with at least one University degree and in top positions in their chosen fields. One son is still single but four have found perfect wives and they have given us five lovely grandchildren. I was born in England and while I'm proud of my English heritage, I am doubly proud to be a true-blue, fair-dinkum Aussie. My husband and I are committed Christians whose first priority is to love and serve our risen Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ. My life story will tell of my journey from abuse to peace. I suffered 22 years of abuse, being constantly told I was totally evil and an ugly freak: no one would ever want me, so I might as well do the world a favour and kill myself.
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26 Responses to A PERFECT HUSBAND?

  1. Lyn Leahz says:

    Are you okay? I’m worried about you! I haven’t heard from you at all. Please let me know you’re alright sister! God bless you! Always praying for you!


  2. snowgood says:

    That Romans scripture is a big ask! Yield yourselves unto God. No wonder Paul is so unpopular.


    • “Yield” has disappeared from many of the newer versions and a lesser word such as ‘present’ has taken its place. I picture ‘yield’ as the head of the defeated army laying his sword at the feet of the head of the victorious army, in complete and absolute surrender. (I think of a picture of the Japanese surrender)

      In that sense, I think “yield” would certainly be unpopular in many people today, which is why the modern versions are more acceptable.

      “Make me a captive Lord, and then I shall be free.
      Force me to render up my sword and I shall conqueror be”
      George Matheson


  3. Ann says:

    Thanks for sharing, Angela

    Your posts make me think long and hard. I’ve been thinking about this for all of two days :-)

    As a single woman with a distorted view of authority and submission, I decided I would never submit. My pastor at the time told me if I ever found someone who loved me the way Christ loves the church, I would submit so quickly, I wouldn’t even know when it happened. |He was right. :-) I couldn’t figure it out then, but now I can look back and see how my heart had to line up with God’s love for me before I could receive the love of my life mate. I still can’t wrap my head around the way God loves me, but I am giving myself permission to accept the Love He has bestowed. The bonus is that I have found the love of my life, and I gladly submit to Christ and to him.

    I’m often tired after a long day, but I will still take care of my home responsibilities. I have no ‘must do’ list, but I do what I do because I know the joy of being loved to the point where I want to do what needs to be done. :-)

    My life in Christ is also different. I no longer serve Him as a servant who fears punishment, but I am learning to serve Him simply because of the way He loves me. His Amazing Grace so covers me! ( I’m hoping my life will reflect His love and grace.)

    O how He loves me!!!!



    • Your opening comments made me smile. “I would never submit” . . .
      I was a very definite man hater. I knew nothing about a wife submitting to her husband but I knew I could never tolerate being married.

      God changes things! God changes people! God changes natures!

      I really used the two marriages of the woman to illustrate the role of the bride of Christ to her beloved Husband. As the bride of Christ, we serve our Lord joyfully out of our love for Him in response to His love for us.

      We serve an amazing God and it won’t be long before we are presented faultless before Him.

      We are one day closer! Meanwhile, we will “occupy till He come” and delight to give Him the preeminence.


      • Ann says:

        Thanks for your response :-)

        “I really used the two marriages of the woman to illustrate the role of the bride of Christ to her beloved Husband. As the bride of Christ, we serve our Lord joyfully out of our love for Him in response to His love for us.”
        Quite a wonderful illustration and one to which many can relate, whether in their personal lives or in the lives of others they see around them.
        I had heard similar stories growing up, but I d didn’t get it. For years and years I didn’t get it. At all. I was a Christian, but I just didn’t get it. My idea of God was someone with a big stick waiting to smack me over the head if (read WHEN) I slipped up. No wonder I could not allow myself to submissively love!! I must say that the minute the lights went on, I loved in a whole new way. My relationships with those in positions of authority also changed for the better.
        Your post was the third I read this week that had reference to marriage and His love for us. This brought to mind the fact that there is no way I could have loved/accepted love or my God-given role in marriage, had I not accepted His unconditional love for me.
        These days I sing and dance in worship with a freedom I never dreamed possible. I am no longer bound to sin! I am free to lift my hands and jump and dance and sing because I have been loved to freedom!!
        Our God is indeed amazing. I serve Him with pleasure and I am so thankful that He showed me what love is all about. I am still trying to wrap my head around the amazing love He has for me, but for now, I am so thankful, I serve without even thinking :-)
        God bless you over and over again, Dear Angela.
        I so look forward to that wonderful day!


        • Heather says:

          I really used the two marriages of the woman to illustrate the role of the bride of Christ to her beloved Husband.

          This brings to mind Paul’s use of the law and marriage to illustrate the believer’s new relationship with Christ.

          Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?
          For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
          So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
          Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. ~Romans 7:1-4

          It is interesting how He referred to the Law to bring hearers to an understanding of Who Jesus is. I was wondering if this is the “lawful use” of the Law of which He spoke in 1 Timothy 1:8?

          At any rate, your exchange caused me to think of Paul’s similar statements about the difference between being a wife who slaves and a wife who loves. :)


          • Heather, thank you for adding those Romans verses. I thought of them when writing, but I always try (usually without success) to make my blogs short.

            I also love Ephesians 5:25,27
            Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it . . . that He might present it to Himself a glorious Church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

            I long for that day – that day when the glorified Church, the bride of Christ, meets her beloved Husband.

            We are one day closer!


          • Ann says:

            God bless you dear Heather.
            “I was wondering if this is the “lawful use” of the Law of which He spoke in 1 Timothy 1:8?”
            Now the wheels have started turning in my head :-) … I wonder…?


        • Ann, I jump and dance and sing along with you! (Even though I no longer jump as I did when I was younger, and I can’t sing a note in tune) But I jump and dance and sing in my heart. How can we do otherwise? His love abounds to us and we MUST respond.
          What an amazing God!


          • Ann says:

            On Sunday we sang “Beautiful One” The jumping, dancing, singing was in full swing :-)

            “Wonderful so wonderful is your unfailing love
            Your cross is spoken mercy over me
            No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart can fully know
            How glorious, how beautiful you are

            Beautiful one I love you
            Beautiful one I adore
            Beautiful one my soul must sing

            Powerful so powerful your glory fills the skies
            Your mighty works displayed for all to see
            The beauty of your majesty awakes my heart to sing
            How marvelous, how wonderful you are

            You’ve opened my eyes to your wonders anew
            Captured my heart with this love
            ‘Cause nothing on this earth is as beautiful as you

            My soul my soul must sing(x3)
            Beautiful one “


  4. granbee says:

    My hubbie reaches near-perfection as he discusses very thoughtfully spiritual truths and revelations with me!


    • My hubby does the same Granbee. I acknowledge him as the head of the house, and the final decision is always his, but he always welcomes my opinion as we discuss matters with respect for each other.

      As the bride of Christ, we need to give our husband Christ the position He rightfully has, that of Head of the Church. We need to be in submission to Him. He is always willing to listen and He will teach us and give us understanding, but HE is always the Head. He has the preeminence. He is LORD!

      What an amazing triune God!


  5. Rob Barkman says:

    AMEN! to your posting… How true it is. If we are saved then our love for Christ should be the motivating force being our service to Him. If we serve out of love, then we serve out of joy, we serve out of appreciation, and we serve out of grace. If we do nto serve out of loove there is a real question whether we have partaken of the grace of God in our lives. Thnk you for a very encouraging and uplifitng post. It supports the main teachings of my latest series on separation. Lord bless you, my friend.


    • >> ” If we serve out of love, then we serve out of joy, we serve out of appreciation, and we serve out of grace”
      Well put Rob. Thank you for adding that.
      It is indeed a supreme delight and the greatest privilege to serve the living God.

      What an amazing God!


  6. jelillie says:

    “I will serve Thee because I love Thee. You have given life to me. I was nothing before You found me. You have given life to me. Heartaches broken people ruined lives are why You died on Calvary. Your touch is what I long for. You have given life to me!”
    What an amazing God! I long to serve Him more!


    • Thanks for those true words.
      “You have given life to me” . . . those words so describe my experience with my amazing God. I was dead and He gave me life – His own life. Serving Him is NOT repayment for what He has done. Serving Him is a privilege and a JOY and the joy He gives is perfect.

      What a truly amazing God!


  7. Debbie says:

    Mentor Angela . .. what a perfect post to show us something that we can really relate to. Or at least I can! It is hard for someone outside of Christ to understand, I’m sure, but YES, there is joy in serving and obeying His every desire. And it is a privilege! Only He can make that possible.
    God bless you and the precious truths of His you share with us! What a blessing and a treasure you are!


    • Thank you Debbie. I don’t think there could be a bigger privilege in this life than that of being a co-labourer together with God. Well, that is how the Bible words it, but I tend to think HE does all the work and just uses my body, but that doesn’t minimise the privilege.

      Truly it is a JOY to love and serve our great triune God – whatever, wherever, whenever He chooses to use us. “Have Thine own way, Lord” because YOUR way is ALWAYS best!

      What an amazing God!


  8. Noel Williams (prhayz) www.prhayz.com says:

    Angela, there is a general consensus that a Christian should do everything as unto the Lord. If everyone learned to honor God, in their service to others, the world would be a better place. I think that is exactly what the apostle Paul was hinting at, when he said, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. However, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

    Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Ephesians 5:22-26)
    Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful post. God blesses.


    • No argument from me, Noel. As far as I am concerned, the man is the head of the house and I willingly submit to His leadership. Maybe that is because He submits to the Lord.

      Thanks for your input Noel.
      We serve an amazing God who delights to bless us!


  9. Heather says:

    To a non-believer, “the list” would seem unreasonable. And it makes perfect sense that security in Christ is what enables the believer to reach out in love to others.
    What word of advice could you offer to a wife who has made profession of faith for many years but has only recently been convicted of a lack of fervency in serving her husband for the Lord? In my case, the resistance was usually very subtle–but relatively persistent and still sinful as it was a rejection of the order God has ordained. It’s not who I want to be and I’ve made amends with my husband; but the shame of having to admit I have not always given my best is a bitter pill to have to swallow.

    Considering the hostility our society encourages toward men, I’m reasonably certain I’m not the only young wife who has fallen for the lies that promote a distortion of God’s truth.


    • I agree our society is trying to tear apart God’s ordained pattern for the family unit and I am sure the younger generation has been well schooled in other ways. I know of many families where the wife is definitely the decision maker.

      There is no doubt that God’s pattern is for the man to be the leader of the family unit, under Christ. Many wives say they would have no trouble being in submission if only the husband would fulfill his part of ‘loving his wife as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it’ – or in other words, with a sacrificial love. However, we are not told to submit IF . . .

      Things were possibly easier when I was younger, because wives did not go out to work. They stayed home, kept the house and hopefully became mothers. We owned a sugar cane farm and my husband worked hard (in the tropical sun) and never had need to do anything in the house. We talked over any decisions which needed to be made. He always listened to my input and ideas and considered them, but the decision was his. Of necessity, the training and the discipline of the children was mine, but when he was in the house, the children knew he was in control.

      I firmly believe the answer to most problems, whether between husband and wife or other parties, is communication – the ability to sit down together with the express purpose of intelligently and respectfully discussing the situation and listening to the opinions put forth. Of course, where the two are Christians, this should be with focussed prayer.

      We serve an amazing God who does not save us and leave us to our own devices, but also provides us with all we need to live victorious lives for Him. HE is ready, available and able. WE are the only obstacle.


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